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My Not-the-Oscars Oscars

And the not-the-Oscars Oscars go to… (winners in bold)

Best Supporting Actor:
Steven Yeun, Burning 
Richard E. Grant, Can You Ever Forgive Me
Jake Johnson, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Best Supporting Actress:
Rachel Weisz, The Favourite
Tilda Swinton, Suspiria
Christine Baranski, Mama Mia! Here We Go Again
Jennifer Garner, Love Simon

Best Cat:
Jersey the cat, Can You Ever Forgive Me
Boil the cat, Burning

Best performance by an actress who already won an Oscar for La La Land but shouldn’t have and so they’ve finally earned their Oscar now:
Emma Stone, The Favourite 

Best Actor:
Ben Foster, Leave No Trace
Yoo Ah-in, Burning
Ethan Hawk, First Reformed 

Best Actress:
Olivia Colman, The Favourite
Toni Collette, Hereditary
Dakota Johnson, Suspiria
Lady Gaga, A Star Is Born
Melissa McCarthy, Can You Ever Forgive Me

Best performance by an actress doing exactly what she’s supposed to be doing so expertly it’s more akin to watching an operatic drag performance:
Bryce Dallas Howard, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Best Picture:
Mama Mia! Here We Go Again
Suspiria
The Favourite
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Movies really kicked into gear last year and did what they were supposed to do, namely confront or comfort. Some of my favorite films of 2018 were the most confrontational (Suspiria and Burning). They demanded something from me as a viewer and were shocking with what they did with it once they had it, though some were less successful than others (Roma and First Reformed). But more importantly, movies were really MOVIES this year. They entertained with with a zest and a joy as if they knew it was 2018 and thus, for as truly grim as parts of the year were, their distractions needed to be tenfold.

Surprisingly, the year’s big requisite Star Panther Wars Super Mary Poppins Avengers bonanzas were empty calories, and the popcorn flicks no one really expected to swoop in really swooped with mathematically perfected pizzazz. I walked out of Mama Mia 2 on a cloud, plain and simple. That was a movie just as calculated and honed as Suspiria and The Favourite in being exactly what it wanted to be, completely assured. That was a movie that was almost confrontationally absurd in the way it yanked me out of 2018’s dastard headlines for two hours of unselfconscious, snark-free singing and dancing and NOTHING ELSE. The bravery of NOTHING ELSE. Bravo.

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